Monday, June 25, 2012

Just around the Riverbend.

I have to write this. I want to share. I keep waiting for my life to start. I look so forward to the future and for the big steps and for my big ideas and dreams to come true. I guess I'm waiting for my real life to begin.

I am living in the now, don't misinterpret me.

Christ is teaching me. I love now. I love where I am at and I love my age. I love that I don't know what is going to happen. It is mysterious. The Lord is helping me have balance. With now and with future. I have the world at my fingertips. Is it un-biblical to say that? I don't mean it like it might sound. You know.

I graduate in December. And I have anxiety. It's complicated. I have peace. And I have anxiety. At different times. I rotate them. Keeps me on my toes.

I don't want to regret this stage in the future. I don't want to think, "Wasted. Sat around and just waited for the future." These are prime years. Golden. Zenith.

Nothing is going to happen abruptly.

I am who I am and I will do what I do. I will make plans. I will not make plans. I will take baby steps. And be happy.

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

It's an everyday thing.

Every other day I forget to give all my cares and worries to God. I can think I am, but I'm really not. Not all of them. Only some. And new ones happen everyday. Sometimes I pick and choose which ones. What a bad habit I've gotten myself into. I don't want to be too proud. I don't want to keep my own worries. I want to let go. Everyday. Every moment. I surrender everyday but I don't give God my worries and angry thoughts and attitude and jealousy and desires. I feel like that should be included in surrendering. Surrendering is giving God everything. And knowing it's Him who gives life. He deserves all of me.