What a day to appreciate.

It's Winter. I am sitting on my big bed in my room. My window is open because it's 71 out. I don't want it to be 71 because it's Winter. Everything has its place and time. Dad is grilling out chicken and I can smell it through my window. I am thankful for this moment.

P.S. I like to capitalize words that are important to me. So even though I wasn't supposed to capitalize Winter because it wasn't being used in a title I did anyway.

Things I'm worried about:

Leaving people. Job. The Future. Finding a church. Making friends. Growing up. Leaving my small group girls.

Things I shouldn't be worried about:

Leaving people. Job. The Future. Finding a church. Making friends. Growing up. Leaving my small group girls.

The Lord will provide everything I need. He always does.

Folgers. I bought Folgers coffee.

Someone who loves coffee recommended it. So I got some.

I've had it before. At home. My parents drink it sometimes. Or used to.

And guess what. I'm going to educate them on the importance of using a French Press. That's my first goal for when I move back in. I'm going to convince them that it tastes much better. Well probably not. Bc they are of the older generation and set in their ways and habits.

I may or may not have just read about the History of Folgers. There's a whole Folgers website. These people are legit.

I've been soaking in these cool days. Soon it will be too cold to sit outside. And it will be too cold and dark to play outside in the afternoons. I guess it makes these times more meaningful because Winter will be here before I know it.

And my hands will be cold till March.

I was getting eaten alive by bugs and ants last Saturday when I was babysitting. We were all outside swinging and running around barefoot. And I was thinking of when I was little and how bugs and bites were far from my mind. Or maybe there are just more bugs these days.

I’m going home. I’ll be graduating and moving back in with my parents in December. It wasn’t an easy decision. It was taxing and exhausting. As most big decisions are. I’m not ready to say goodbye to anyone. I don’t like goodbyes at all. I appreciate too many little things about people which makes it complicated.

It feels like everything is ending when really isn’t it just beginning? I’m scared about a lot of things to tell you the truth. I am scared about this change. I trust God completely and I know this is the right decision. God will give me everything I need from now till graduation and after. I know all this. But I am still worried. I am already hurting about how much I am going to miss people in the near future. I am worried that I will slowly not miss these people as much. It always happens. I am believing that it WON’T happen this time. These ones are too special to lose contact with. Or to simply stop missing.

When I came to BCF I was completely miserable and depressed because of how much I missed everyone. Plus I had zero cell service so I could barely text or call unless I was in Dothan or Chipley. But over time I stopped missing everyone and got used to it. I don’t want that to happen. I am going to do everything I can to prevent that from happening.

I am relishing the final days of my college career and life. Saturating myself in each moment when I’m surrounded by the ones I love. Believing that I will never stop missing these people.

I need courage. And strength. And peace to move forward. It won’t be easy.

1. The Chariots of Fire song makes me cry.

2. Laying in the sunshine with good music in my ears gives me hope.

3. Everyone is beautiful if you think about it.

4. You know why The Police had blonde hair? I don't mind telling you. They were in a Chewing Gum commercial and they apparently didn't look punk enough so the commercial man said you need to dye your hairs blonde. They needed the money so they did. And then decided to keep it because they liked it.

5. Yellow is my favourite color right now, Laura Marling my favourite singer, and overalls my favourite outfit.

6. A Blue Moon might appear on these dates: August 2, and August 31. September 1, and September 30. I'm really hoping for the best. A Blue Moon means a rare event hence the phrase Once in a Blue Moon.

Today is the day of the Opening Ceremonies. I have waited all summer for this. So I felt like I should say a few words.

Off the top of my head I would hate to be in the Olympics for Badminton. Imagine people asking you what talent you had. You would have to proudly respond, "Badminton. I am a trained Badminton...person." What does that even involve, stretching? Eating right? Learning about birds? Working out your hands? I can set up a Badminton net in my back yard and play with the old lady next door. We could be Doubles Partners. Oh no. I'm totally imagining myself as an Olympian Badminton-er. Dangit. I don't hate it either.

I would like to be in the Olympics for High Diving. Now that is something. It's my favourite summer Olympic sport. I wouldn't want the entire world looking at me on a big screen in my bathing suit though. I would want a cute little vintage one piece. With our flag on it obviously. Actually, the whole thing could be a flag. Even my head cap.

My friend LauraLeigh (I like to do that as one word) is throwing a party. My heart is so full and grateful. My mom had this wind suit. It was basically one huge American Flag. I would give anything to be wearing that tonight. To be swallowed in our striped and stars. Nothing sounds more exciting. and terrifyingly hot.

So far this morning, I've made up two words. Olympicize. and Olympism. Oh! Olympists. Three. Make that three. I'll be referring to the Gymnasts as Olympists. or Olympasts. I accidentally tried to spell Gymnasts like this: Gymnists. I didn't accidentally, I did it on purpose because that's how I thought it was spelled.

Well I'm excited. I want the very best for the US of A. My hometown. My stompin grounds. All of our stompin grounds, really. Unless you are reading this from a different country. If that's the case, you're goin DOWN.

If the athletes would look anything like this now days...

I have been listening to a lot of 80's. and by a lot I mean every time I get in the car. or my room. It has been consuming me and taking my breath away at times. I also have been trying to dress like the people in the music videos. It's kind of going well. It's a process every morning.

I haven't worn toe nail polish or finger polish in a week. I feel so plain and good.

I miss the mountains. and the fresh wet soil. and the fresh black bears. and the fresh adventures.

The Lord has given me answers to recent questions. I am thankful.

A little boy told me the other day that he liked me when I had a boy haircut. I took it as a compliment.

I haven't eaten kumquats in a long time. I am so ashamed.

Two nights ago it happened. My dream. Zombie Apocalypse. The Zombies lives had three stages. The first stage they could run faster than Trained Olympic Runners and they could climb things. The second stage is kind of blurry and the third stage they were just regular ole Zombies. I found an old tree house to stay in. My friend was with me. We were so scared. I felt like I had to run when I woke up.

I have some rocks from the mountain river in NC that I have big plans for. Their future is so bright.

"Lord please help me to have patience with what is unseen." Josh Harmony.

I re-united with a dear friend. We hungout and talked about things we like, we talked about the unknown future, Build-a-Bear, the names of Deep Sea Fishing Boats, music, movies, coffee, ya know, things like that.

Kessler just informed me that she dropped my toothbrush in the toilet. I don't even know if toothbrush is one word. That's how mad I am. She offered to "buy me a knew one" but I decided to boil it. Bc boiling takes away all the germs and pains of buying a knew toothbrush. I went through a lot with that toothbrush. I had to break it in. It was an agonizing two weeks. I dropped my toothbrush in the toilet twice in one month. I can't do this again.

I've been dreaming with my eyes open. Dreaming big. Bc I'm allowed.

T-minus two days time till the Olympics start.