What a day to appreciate.

Ive been thinking a lot about things that dont really matter. For the past few weeks Ive let people define me. I have gotten upset about the littlest things. Petty things. I guess what Im trying to say is Ive gotten easily bothered by things and some people. That I dont usually get bothered by. If I told you, you would look at me and say..."Thats dumb, who cares?" And I would say, "I know, this usually doesnt happen." I am my own self. And sometimes I feel like nothing can stop me, but not this month. People have stopped me. Not literally. Because of my selfishness I havent been able to love people like I should. I havent been focusing on others. I am going to make an effort this week. And the next week. And the next week. Until it becomes habit. To go without complaining. And to not be touchy. And irritable about the tiniest issues. And interested in only myself. All these things lead to nothing anyway. They are empty things. I dont want to be empty. I desire to be full of joy and healthy traits. And live life without thinking of mindless matters.

Ok. I did it. I started listening to Christmas music. I dont care if you care. I love Christmas music. And I dont feel bad about it. I will say I usually dont start this early but this year my spirit is alive early and Im not ignoring it. Not this time. It is sort of awkward listening to Let it Snow while the high for today is 80 degrees. Rats. I want you to know, whoever you are, that I am not looking past Thanksgiving. Im only starting early bc there is never enough time to enjoy the Christmas music. Believe me, if there were Thanksgiving songs I wouldve started listening to those back in September. Do you believe me when I say Im not disregarding Thanksgiving? I have been celebrating it everyday. By making lots of Crafts. and with thoughts about how blessed I am this year. More so than last year bc I have still have a family that loves me and loves the Lord. I still have Christ who guides me and shows me how to live. I live in a warm house and get to sleep in a warm bed every night. I have money to use on food and clothes and medicine. And even money to by small things for others. Some dont even have money for themselves. I have extra. We all have extra. This post wasnt planned to be a serious one, but it is. Be grateful. We have so much. And so this is Christmas...And what have you done...Another year over...And a new one just begun...(John Lennon, love that song). I mean, And so this is Thanksgiving...

I like to collect things. Lots of things. This season I have picked and picked up so many leaves. They are all in my room. Dead and crunchy. But something about this is comforting to me. They make me feel good. and warm. I picked some today. They are redder than red. I agree with them. They are pleasurable to look at. I taped some in my journal and wrote down my feelings. What I was feeling when I was searching. What I was feeling when I picked them. And why I taped the ones I did in my journal. There they will lay forever. Crackled and dead and...full of feelings. So way down the road I can look at them and have the same appreciation then as I do now.