What a day to appreciate.

It's always hard to accept something when you are in the middle of it. To know there is something greater ahead is comforting but it doesn't always make the current situation easier. In a sense I am blind to what is happening now. It's true in some areas of life- that until it's taken away do we find the point. I am really trying to pay attention to the details with this one- this struggle- I'm trying to keep a healthy perspective. And not letting little negative thoughts creep in. It happens, but as long as I am aware that things will get better, things will get better. Something great is ahead. God and His plans are always perfect and always seem to be right on time. My job is not to change things or do what I want, my job is to keep the faith. I must have faith in the One who holds my life together and I have to trust that things are going to turn out far better than what I could've done on my own. God has a beautiful way of working things out. I look forward to the day when I can look back and TRULY be thankful. And see all the things that were adding up and see all the things God was doing when I didn't notice it. I want to notice it now but it's tough to see through my selfish eyes. I am trying though. And I am grateful for this current circumstance.

Romans 5- Because of Christ AND our faith in Him- "Suffering produces perseverance, perseverance character, and character, hope."

I serve a big God. All He asks is for me to believe that and trust Him wholeheartedly.

Why is it so easy to sit around and feel sorry for myself? I will literally sit around and think about what I don’t have. I will dwell on things that I don’t have. And then I will make a plan to get what I don’t have.

I mean I have a list in my phone of some things that I want. I’m as selfish as they come.

Why is it so hard to be grateful for everything? I THINK that I am. But really, I could be a little more grateful.

I have an ache in my heart. I don’t want to need anything. I have everything. I have everything to live a very appreciative life. I have everything I need to wake up every morning feeling grateful.

I waste so much time being selfish and thinking of my future. I should probably just wake up and live. Work hard at my current purpose and take each day as it comes. Accept each day with a grateful heart. I am living a life many would like to have. And it’s embarrassing to say that I think they are more thankful for the little they have than the many much I have.

It's Winter. I am sitting on my big bed in my room. My window is open because it's 71 out. I don't want it to be 71 because it's Winter. Everything has its place and time. Dad is grilling out chicken and I can smell it through my window. I am thankful for this moment.

P.S. I like to capitalize words that are important to me. So even though I wasn't supposed to capitalize Winter because it wasn't being used in a title I did anyway.