What a day to appreciate.

A bucket list of things I can never do.

1. Walk on the moon.

2. Meet Queen Elizabeth.

3. Pet a whale.

4. Own an elephant.

5. Be a Ringmaster.

6. Become Good Friends with Julie Andrews.

7. Give Mona Lisa highlights.

8. Meet myself as a 5 year old.

9. Play the lead role in a well-known Musical.

10. Fly, using a Jet Pack.

These were my thoughts today. Maybe these will become my real Bucket List one day. Oh me oh my. Thats a lot to consider. I feel nauseous.

Ive been doing some thinking. About this Jan Term class. I have a new perspective and I would like to write about it.
Everything in me does not want to pay attention in this class. Oh, the class is Jeremiah.
The first and maybe second day I didn't give my teacher unlimited attention. I surfed the web, ya know, what every college student does during class. Its almost a habit for us. I went home and started thinking. About people all over the world who can't take this class. Or any class for that matter. I thought about Pastors, and want-to-be pastors in different countries. Who don't have much. Maybe just a Bible. What they would give to be sitting in this class learning. About Jeremiah and past Kings and People and Cultures. The knowledge and information my teacher has about this book would be shocking to them.
I think about the People Groups and Individuals that have to read their Bible in secret. And all the secret Bible Studies that take place around the world. Some of these studies might last all day. Some pray together all day. They worship God together all day. In secret. They can't get enough of each other and God. They are thirsty. For knowledge and Christ.
I think about children in different parts of the world that would find some of the stories in Jeremiah interesting and intriguing.
And then I look at myself. A rich girl who gets to sleep in a warm bed every night. A girl who has cabinets full of food. A girl who has heat and air whenever she wants it. A girl who gets to wake up every morning and learn things that help her as an individual. Biblical information that helps ME grow as a Christian. And some days I choose to sleep in because I want to. And because I have this attitude about school. I get to learn from this professor who has spent hours studying this book that I know very little about. This would be the perfect life to one of those pastors who is doing everything he can to lead a whole congregation with just one Bible. And some people of the congregation dont even have a Bible to read for themselves. I have three!
I have three Bibles.
I have three Bibles.
I have three Bibles.
...and then some.
Some of those half Bibles.
Pocket Bibles.
I just want to cry when I think about these people. And I have cried this week. About my sorry attitude and about the attitudes of the people around world. And how different we are. The saved people that would look so forward to sitting in class and reading about Jeremiah. It meets from 8am-11:50am. He usually lets us out at 10:30. I get so restless after 3 hrs. That's all. A measly 3 hrs of sitting and I'm about ready to die.
I have payed attention this week. I have given my attention to Jeremiah and to my professor. I have thanked Christ for this opportunity. And I'm praying for these people that are in my mind. They are there for a reason.
I am aware.

I read Charles Dickens A Christmas Carol for the first time this year. and watched the movie only 5 times. It really got me in the Christmas mood. It was Scrooge. He did it. His life did it. He was completely turned around. His life was changed. Those ghosts helped him to see the monster he really was and it was unsettling to him. He only cared about his business and money. He cared least about the people around him. And cared least about Christmas. He saw who he would be. And it broke him. It warms my heart to see the change in him at the end. He was open and grateful to be alive every day. "...And it was always said of him, that he knew how to keep Christmas well, if any man alive possessed the knowledge. May that be truly said of us!" "But I am sure I have always thought of Christmas time, when it has come round -- apart from the veneration due to its sacred name and origin, if anything belonging to it can be apart from that -- as a good time: a kind, forgiving, charitable, pleasant time: the only time I know of, in the long calendar of the year, when men and women seem by one consent to open their shut-up hearts freely.." I wish we could have our hearts open all year. Not just by doing good for others but living for Christ and others. Teaching them, having community, with friends and strangers, for the sake of them finding Christ in us. Lets not be bound by things. If we're bound by things living for others will not happen. The spirit of Christmas should continue all year round. Its about a baby, but also what he did for us. and for all humanity.

Im home for Christmas. It feels good. The streets are filled with Christmas cheer. And so is my heart. I have two perfect books lined up for break. One is Charles Dicken's A Christmas Carol. Im nervous excited. The Jim Carrey movie is a stroke of genius. Its eerie at times and I love it. Im having peppermint mocha coffee. It is warming my bones. Just like Scrooge does at the end of the story. Those ghosts changed his life. Ive already watched so many Christmas movies. The Grinch 4 times. The Polar Express 2 times. Elf 2 times. Jack Frost (old one). A Christmas Carol 2 times. A few Hallmark/Lifetime movies. A Christmas Story (part of it). I like this picture. Its glowing. Christmas merriment.

Ive been thinking a lot about things that dont really matter. For the past few weeks Ive let people define me. I have gotten upset about the littlest things. Petty things. I guess what Im trying to say is Ive gotten easily bothered by things and some people. That I dont usually get bothered by. If I told you, you would look at me and say..."Thats dumb, who cares?" And I would say, "I know, this usually doesnt happen." I am my own self. And sometimes I feel like nothing can stop me, but not this month. People have stopped me. Not literally. Because of my selfishness I havent been able to love people like I should. I havent been focusing on others. I am going to make an effort this week. And the next week. And the next week. Until it becomes habit. To go without complaining. And to not be touchy. And irritable about the tiniest issues. And interested in only myself. All these things lead to nothing anyway. They are empty things. I dont want to be empty. I desire to be full of joy and healthy traits. And live life without thinking of mindless matters.

Ok. I did it. I started listening to Christmas music. I dont care if you care. I love Christmas music. And I dont feel bad about it. I will say I usually dont start this early but this year my spirit is alive early and Im not ignoring it. Not this time. It is sort of awkward listening to Let it Snow while the high for today is 80 degrees. Rats. I want you to know, whoever you are, that I am not looking past Thanksgiving. Im only starting early bc there is never enough time to enjoy the Christmas music. Believe me, if there were Thanksgiving songs I wouldve started listening to those back in September. Do you believe me when I say Im not disregarding Thanksgiving? I have been celebrating it everyday. By making lots of Crafts. and with thoughts about how blessed I am this year. More so than last year bc I have still have a family that loves me and loves the Lord. I still have Christ who guides me and shows me how to live. I live in a warm house and get to sleep in a warm bed every night. I have money to use on food and clothes and medicine. And even money to by small things for others. Some dont even have money for themselves. I have extra. We all have extra. This post wasnt planned to be a serious one, but it is. Be grateful. We have so much. And so this is Christmas...And what have you done...Another year over...And a new one just begun...(John Lennon, love that song). I mean, And so this is Thanksgiving...

I like to collect things. Lots of things. This season I have picked and picked up so many leaves. They are all in my room. Dead and crunchy. But something about this is comforting to me. They make me feel good. and warm. I picked some today. They are redder than red. I agree with them. They are pleasurable to look at. I taped some in my journal and wrote down my feelings. What I was feeling when I was searching. What I was feeling when I picked them. And why I taped the ones I did in my journal. There they will lay forever. Crackled and dead and...full of feelings. So way down the road I can look at them and have the same appreciation then as I do now.