Thursday, February 26, 2009

holiness is what i need. desparately.

i have one desire. it is consuming my thoughts. holiness. i long so bad to have this. so bad that sometimes thats all i can think about. holiness is about obedience. God has commands in his word that we should really think about and try and start doing. basic things, like loving others, so many times i fall short of this. it really shouldnt be that hard. but it is, for all of us. another one is to flee from all temptation. i am tempted everyday with things. whether it be big or small. he tells us to run from it. i fail. a lot. but thats part of it. i need to start realizing that my sin grieves God. it hurts him. to be honest i dont think ill ever realize how much sin is in my life. i dont even know all the sin. but i am going to start searching. i am going to search for things that i do that pains my Savior. i am going to try and fix them. it will be hard. hence, i cant do it on my own. duh. i am going to trust God every minute of everyday. i am going to ask for strength. i am going to ask for wisdom. to make holiness a possibility, i need these things. i need to start obeying Gods word. and i need to have confidence that i can do this. it will be unbearable at times, but God is with me every step of the way. i want holiness. i really want to just have it. i dont want to go through the whole process, i just want it. instantly. however, it is the lessons i will learn and the temptations i will have that will get me to holiness. i am afraid. but excited. i want to be transformed. holiness is what i long for. my one desire.